It's just another manic Monday
I wish it were Sunday
'Cause that's my fun day
My I don't have to run day...
Ha! Clearly, The Bangles did not have children when they released that hit. Nearly every Sunday, I spend the day preparing for the week ahead. I chop, dice, cook, and bake for the week ahead. We do multiple loads of laundry. I bathe the children. And I finish off the day by mopping the kitchen once the children are in bed. I might not be running, but there is a quite a bit of hustling. Its a good thing I have a tiny kitchen. Perhaps, next week I'll strap on a pedometer for grins. It does help make the Mondays less manic, but it is not a fun day.
Today, as I was sitting watch the kids play together in the bath(and Jr.'s graduation to the big tub) I realized that I wasn't even soaking in the adorableness of my kids. My mind was spinning! Jeez, when was the last time I scrubbed the tub? What load of laundry should I do next? Are the diapers dry? Why is Mr. Cheaper not vacuuming? He better not be parked on the couch! Am I the only one who gives a darn about the state of the house?! Did the leftovers from dinner get put away? Jeez! I should be paying more attention to this baby in the tub! Maybe I should be taking pictures to humiliate them as adults? Are we done with this bath yet? I have mopping to do yet!
This is not how I want to spend my family time. I want to spend my Sunday evening reading books(not folding laundry while Lil' Miss reads her books to me). I want to play board games together. And laugh together as we make memories. How the heck do I get there? If I don't prep for the week, we end up eating Taco Bell. And then, I am mired in mom guilt about that. Or I end up cranky and yelling because I am trying unsuccessfully to get dinner on the table in a timely fashion. And then we are late launching the bedtime sequence which involves a more widespread and deep-seated level of cranky.
Honestly, I sometimes have no clue how to get this whole mom thing down. There is no manual. Ninety percent of parenting is subjective. I just hope that when my kids are grown they know that even though I was one cranky SOB at times, it was really because I was trying so hard to be the best mom possible. Every year. Every week, Every day, I woke up and fell asleep trying to be always be better for them.
